There has been some extra funding going out for the upcoming holidays. I also realized I am getting really, really bad gas mileage. I don't understand why the van is possibly only getting 8 miles to the gallon because I am not carrying that much extra poundage. I had the van totally packed with heavy boxes and stuff to put into storage last spring when I went down to AZ and it was getting at least about 10 miles per gallon. Spending $30 a week on gas, and not driving much is getting very old.
Anyway, each week I am borrowing a few (!) dollars from my son, the student, (the rich one in the family - the student), just to make ends meet and so, as I get my monthly paycheck from the shelter employment, I am having to apply most of it to repaying him, and not on the bills I had hoped to knock down with it.
Since holidays will be done with one fell swoop soon, I should have 4 months of my two jobs with no large outlay. Hopefully I will be able to accomplish something. I have applied to a bunch of places, but have received no calls back. I did want to be able to enjoy our Holiday Extravaganza so haven't made a super great effort up until now.
However, while on my "weekend" (Thursday and Friday) and visiting my pastor's family, and discussing this situation, I recalled that I have been on this hamster wheel before. I have been in this same place, worked my butt off, and got no closer to getting my goals accomplished. Working 120 hours the week, although it sounds logical, is not the answer. In all the ways of the world, it seems like it should work... but it does not work this way on God's economy.
I have lived on God's economy before. I know it works. I don't know HOW it works, I just know it does. I have put my efforts into the work that I can do, and depositing my checks into my account. I have written checks out of the account for my tithe and the bills that need to be paid, and they have all been paid. If I had actually kept a record of the amount of money going in, and the amount of money going out, it would not have added up correctly and should not have worked at all according to the logic of mathematics. But on God's economy, it all worked smoothly and I never bounced a single payment.
God's Economy is how Jesus fed 5,000 people as told in Matthew...
Matthew 14:13-21New International Version (NIV)
Jesus Feeds the Five Thousand
15 As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a remote place, and it’s already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food.”16 Jesus replied, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.”17 “We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” they answered.18 “Bring them here to me,” he said. 19 And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. 20 They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. 21 The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children.
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It was nothing we talked about specifically, but I was also impressed to seek out a volunteering opportunity. To "walk in the spirit" is being taught in my church, and I believe I should donate the extra time I have to a worthy cause and continue to tithe faithfully. Things will work out for the best with my finances if I leave it up to God. I know He is ultimately in charge of all of this anyway, so I need to "let go, and let God."
I know it doesn't seem to make sense logically, but since I have tried to find work, and not much has changed, I am willing to give other avenues a try as well.
:)
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